Do I Have a Chance

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Q:Ive been seeing this guy I really like. It started out super strong and now is petering out. Hes not calling as much, and doesnt plan ahead for dates with me. I wonder if I did something wrong that pushed him away . . . like be too needy. Do you think theres a way to make this work out? I want it to so badly. Do you think I have a chance with him still? Or did I blow it? Please help me, Kathryn.

A:I have good news. There really is a chance that it can work out! But we would need to test it out and do some things differently just to see. Heres the dating advice or protocol I would prescribe.

1.Have you been doing all of the heavy lifting? Like the bulk of the texting, phoning and emailing to set things up? If so, you need to slack off. Back off and give him a chance to initiate some contact and even some plans.

We dont want to force it into happening. There needs to be some reciprocity and mutuality of interest.

2.Let go a bit while being warm and connected when you do communicate. This looks like calling less, finding other things to be busy about and doing a release on him internally -- something you probably know is a specialty of mine. This is one dating advice you’d want to keep.

3.Get and stay at soulmate level. Your vibration is everything. You can make anything work out, attract just like you want and more when you are in the right place energetically. Neediness and desperation are at the bottom rung of attraction and will never get you what you want.

Soulmate Level is hopeful, released, happy and standing in how amazing you are. It brings just what you want to you.

4.Dont put all of your eggs in this one basket (of this guy no matter how much you like him). This is another dating advice you should take seriously. Look around and be open to others (if you arent in a committed situation which I gather youre not). Flirt and focus elsewhere.

I bless you for working this out. Its possible, and remember that no matter what, you get love with your soulmate. Hope you find my dating advice helpful.

Im sending you love & support!

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Slut Shaming

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[to hear an audio version of this Q & A, click here: http://iTeleseminar.com/74619435]

Q: Kathryn, Ive been doing your "Date for Your Soulmate" Course and its working! Im starting to connect with more hot men, but Ive hit a snag.

Part of the course talks about flirting, and I just cannot do it. I was raised to believe that women who flirt are sluts, and it just feels wrong. Ill feel like a bad person, a hussy, and I cant do it. Even if I try as little as a wink, I freeze up.

A proper woman doesnt act that way, and I need to ask you if I really have to flirt to find love. I dont want to impede my progress. But this is beyond what I can deal with.

A: Wow, thats a lot, and Im so very glad that you wrote about this flirting block, because we need to address it. Here are a few points to help you out:

1. I adore the term slut-shaming because it negates the notion that women are either madonnas or whores. There is nothing wrong with having a sexual side and using it when youre connecting. We all have many complicated sides, and its okay to be sexual. To judge women (and not men -- such a double standard!) for being too flirty is just wrong and can inhibit a womans ability to be who she is.



2. The definition of flirting is a mild sexual energy in communicating. Its a terrific aid to turning a persons head who you are interested in.

3. Flirting ensures you wont be friend-zoned. It also opens up your 2nd chakra. If youve had a long, dry spell, you may in danger of shutting down, and this can prevent love from coming along.

4. Even if you dont want to flirt with anyone else, you definitely want to be flirting with your soulmate.

5. It helps to practice flirting to be in practice when a hot person (most likely to be your soulmate) comes along.

6. Everyone -- even the shyest amongst us -- has a flirting style. It varies wildly, as you are seeing in the course where I talk about all the styles and how to find yours.

I hope this explanation can help flirting seem less scary or prohibitive for you.


The course youre doing has helped so many people open to love! If  youre going to do it, dont skip parts of it. The process cant work as well.

I bless you for getting over this hump. It will open a whole new world to you.

Get regular upliftment by following Kathryn on social media:

Twitter: @KathrynAlice1

Facebook: www.facebook.com/manifestinglove

Youtube: http://tinyurl.com/lovesoulmate (subscribe for blockbuster love series starting soon!)

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Great Career Bad Love Life!

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To hear an audio version of this blog, click here:

Q: Kathryn, Why is it so easy for me in other areas but so hard in love?

I have a great career that Im proud of. I have tons of friends, am close with my family and even head up a volunteer effort. But I cannot seem to find my guy, and love has always been hard for me.

Why is this and what can I do about it?

A: There are a couple of reasons this might be so.

1) Other areas like job are linear. Logical. An easy-to-see progression.

2) Secondary goals will have less resistance, but with a big goal, you will smack up into ALL of your resistance. The key is getting around it. But its valuable because you can really move if you face your blocks head-on. How?

• When I work with someone on an issue like this, well assess where the wall is

• It depends on the nature of your past relationships and even your childhood

• Once we pinpoint the blocks, we can put together a protocol to move forward. Some blocks might be sheer resistance. Others may come up as you interact with likely prospects

• It really helps that you have success templates in other areas. That can be put to good use

Heres an example of a woman that I helped.

During intake, "Sue" admitted she had never had a successful relationship.

The longest one shed had was 4 months, and it just fizzled after a while. He quit calling.

Sue was very head-centered, and like you, she had a very good career.

She tended to connect with men in work mode, not from her heart. And there was some past trauma thrown in there that added extra resistance.

We put in a protocol of:

- becoming more heart-centered when outside of work

- scheduled free, fun time

- worked on flirting and laughing and just enjoying herself

- Sue had to learn to create emotional bonding, too

But the upshot is the most lasting relationship of her life. She is engaged to a wonderfully charming man, and they are moving in together.

Yes, the things we want the most can seem elusive, but with some work at dissolving the resistance, they can still happen and happen quickly.

I bless you for finding your way through your own resistance.

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How To Get Back My Ex All Hope Is Not Lost

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No one likes to feel the rejection of being broken up with. Here is the truth, it can be your choice if you want your ex back. You dont have to remain lonely; you dont have to worry about moving on. People act in specific ways, if you can set your pain aside for a few minutes, you can find the answer to your question how do I get back my ex.

First of all, we need some insight into what put a wedge between the two of you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but nothing happened on a Tuesday that caused your break up. It was not a single episode or fight that caused the demise of your relationship, it was a culmination of things.

Heres a toughie, it was partially your fault. Yes, yours. I dont want you to take full blame, no one is ever 100% to blame. But you do need to accept your share. What did you do that led to the breakup?

Dont rush to your ex and start apologizing. You will apologize but not yet. Here are a couple ideas what you might be to blame for.

Ladies, you first. Is it possible you effeminized your ex? Did you hurt his ego? Were you too needy? Almost always one of these reasons are at the core.

Gentlemen, your next. What did you do or say that made your ex feel unappreciated or taken advantage of? Were you too needy? Women love a man with a sensitive side, but constantly being needy is a huge turn off for both sexes.

Now, you need to accept responsibility for your actions and or attitude. By simply identifying it, you can now change the behavior.

"Ive done this, so how do I get back my ex?"

Now you can call your ex. If they wont talk to you, hand write a letter. Agree with the separation first then let them know you have taken responsibility, and exactly what for, and apologize for it. Tell them you saw this coming, and it is for the best, wish them well in the future.

Do not initiate contact for a month, three weeks at the very least.

By following these steps, your ex will not understand your actions. The human mind is curious and most of the time your partner will contact you, as they now feel like you broke up with them. When they call, move slowly and deliberately to rebuild your love.

The get back my ex outline.

1. Take personal responsibility.

2. Send a hand written letter agreeing with the separation and apologizing.

3. Cease all contact.

By: Mark Myers

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Why Not ME !

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Hi, there! Here’s another question one of you sent in that I’m answering today. It’s a good one, one I often get, and I hope it’ll help.

Q: I have a friend who annoyingly, always has a boyfriend. The minute one relationship ends, she finds another boyfriend right away. Why is it so easy for her and so hard for me? I haven’t even dated anyone in over a year. Why her and not me?!

A: Great question, and one I often get asked. Yes, your friend has something you don’t, but it’s not what you think. And just to reassure you, I often have folks in a similar position PASS their friend by finding love and getting married while the friend is still going through boyfriend after boyfriend. It’s not a competition, but if it were, you don’t LOSE.

What your friend has that you don’t is the following:

a) A good template for having a boyfriend. She’s used to it, so it’s easier to manifest again. I’ll bet you have some areas in your life that are easy for you, too.

b) Faith that she gets love, that someone out there will be right for her and that she’s lovable.

If you lack the above, then it’s probably interfering with your ability to manifest love. But the good news is that there are ways to develop these things and manifest so easily you can’t believe it.

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How Can I Get Rid of This Pain

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A saying that I love is: “the pain will push you until the vision pulls you.” 

Heres a great question one of you sent in.

[to hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here]

http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=69702789

Q: Kathryn, Ive finally released my ex, but now, I have new pain. I am so lonely that sometimes -- even though Im done with him and see he was not good for me -- Im tempted to call him just for companionship. And all my rejection-thinking is arising, too.

Ugh! Am I just so used to pain that I keep recreating it? I couldnt sleep at all last night. Please help.

A: This pain is fake. And we need to get rid of it.

I know it feels real, so why do I say that?

Its because its based on false premises.

In this case, it means that youre being pushed by the pain -- some past pain.

The reason I call it FAKE is because its assuming that you will always be in this place -- that vacuum that happens before love comes.

But do you know how many people Ive shepherded through this time into the arms of their One? Thousands!

And every one of them wished they had known what was ahead so they could skip the useless pain and be getting ready for the lifechanging moment when love walked in the door.

You have set a powerful intention to follow your dream of a soulmate, and this intention is at work on your  behalf, even when you’re not thinking about it.

If you can refocus on that, then youll be pulled by your vision instead of pushed by this needless pain.

Pain is an indicator that something needs to shift for you. Sometimes it’s something that you’re grieving, which is legitimate pain, but often the hurt is caused or exacerbated by you.

How do you cause your own pain?

• By holding on to a person who is not yours and being unwilling to move on

• By accepting a belief about yourself of about love that is limiting

• By letting people into your life who are hurtful to you and not supportive

• By taking things personally that aren’t (like “rejection,” which I don’t believe in)

• By having a narrow vision that is fear-based instead of full of the faith that love is still in the works for you.

The quickest way to relieve your pain is to examine how you’ve created it and do something differently.

Also, elevate yourself back to your vision for your life, dwelling on that instead. As you do so, there is no pain that won’t fade, no situation that’s irretrievable. A pain-free life becomes real.

Im blessing you for carrying on toward your vision. It will happen sooner than you can imagine!

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Why You Must Control Your Jealousy if You Want to Get Your Ex Back

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Jealousy can be a huge problems for relationships. The green-eyed monster is especially problematic when we live in a world that includes Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, text messaging, instant messaging, email and so many other ways for people to communicate with each other - including members of the opposite sex.

More and more jobs expect professional employees to have ready access to information at all hours of the day and night and many people must go back into the office after hours on occasion, or never seem to leave the office on other occasions. It leaves the doors wide open for jealous spouses and lovers to leap to the wrong conclusions quite often.

Some Jealousy Can be Good for the Relationship

While your significant other is probably glad to know you care enough for the green-eyed monster to rear its ugly head on occasion, its important to avoid making scenes, jumping to conclusions, and levy accusations and allegations without proof. The key is to find balance. You want your partner to know you care, but avoid going overboard with displays of jealousy lest they alarm your partner and cause doubts about the relationship. Trust, after all, is also important. When jealousy is too "over the top" it leaves your partner feeling as though you lack trust.

Reigning in the Green-Eyed Monster

The key is to reign in your jealousy before it becomes problematic. Consider these actions to get your jealousy under control.

* Breathe deeply. Whenever your jealous thoughts are about to spiral out of control, take a moment to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Focus all your attention on breathing for the next several breaths. This not only helps you calm your raging thoughts but also provides important seconds for clearer thinking to kick in.

* Speak calmly. This is not the time to incite violence or make threatening statements. Let your partner know youre uncomfortable and explain why in a reasonable tone. Most partners will show respect for your feelings, even if your partner believes they are unfounded, and attempt to get out of the situation if its possible.

* Be proactive. When you feel the ugly head of jealousy making an appearance, start looking for thoughts and feelings that will cancel it out. The more active role you take in eliminating jealousy from becoming a problem for your relationship, the less likely it is to become one.


If jealousy has already caused big problems in your relationship, you can still get your ex back once you get your jealousy under control. Then you just need to follow these simple instructions to have your ex back in your arms in no time.

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The Top 10 Love Fears 6 through 10

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[To hear an audio version of this newsletter -- with more info & stories -- click here]

In honor of Halloween approaching, its a perfect time to get SCARY!

In that spirit, below find the first 5 of the top 10 Love Fears -- and what to do about them.

Ill post the final 5 next week to round it out.




Top 10 Love Fears

What blocks so many people from finding love? Fear

Below are the first 5 of The 10 Greatest Fears that can keep love for you.


Fear 10

Youve missed the boat.

You worry that its too late for you to find love, that maybe the one that got away was your last chance for love or that youre doing something fatally wrong that has doomed you forever.

THE TRUTH: Until you meet someone with whom it never end, you have not yet found your soulmate, so you need to keep going. You have every hope for love and have not missed the boat. You get infinite do-overs until you get it right.

Fear 9

That there is something wrong with you.

95% of the people who come to my work fear that there is something wrong with them, that they have a Fatal Flaw. If this is you, youve blown up some minor thing into a huge repulsive nightmare that will send potential loves screaming from the room.

THE TRUTH: You are perfect right now. There is nothing wrong with you. Your soulmate will find things other loves thought were flaws -- cute. It wont bother them and will endear them to you.

Fear 8

Youre too old, too overweight, too sick, too depressed, too anything for love.

Whenever someone is blocked in love, theres usually some limited belief knocking around in their head about their chances for love. They fear that love has passed them by if theyre over some arbitrary age they deem is past the age for love. Or they think they have to lose lots of weight to be loved. Or they worry no one could love them because of some physical condition.

THE TRUTH: Love knows no boundaries like this. Lots of senior citizens find love -- especially in this work. And plenty of overweight folks, people with illness or physical conditions do, too. Your soulmate wants you for YOU. (S)he doesnt care about anything you belief dooms you in the love department.

Fear 7

Being unlovable

This is similar to Fear 8. You worry that something about you is so awful youre unlovable. Maybe your temper. Or your disposition. Or you dont think you are sexy enough. Or attractive enough. Usually anyone with this fear was criticized as a child. Its a self-esteem issue and is just not true.

THE TRUTH: You are lovable as you are now. Your soulmate will find you completely lovable and remind you over and over again of that fact. To expedite your Ones journey into your arms, practice loving yourself more and seeing why you are lovable (you are!)

Fear 6

Not ever finding love

People with this fear usually have been looking for love for a while with no success. Theyre ready to give up and worry theyll never find love. Theyre extrapolating past experience into the future, concluding love is just not in the cards for them.

THE TRUTH: If you want love, you get it. You got this desire for your soulmate put into your heart to propel you into his or her arms. God would never dangle something in front of you only to taunt you with it and never give it to you. You get this! We just need to work on opening you up on it and finding the hope to keep on moving forward.

NEXT WEEK
Ill post a blog with the remaining Top 10 love fears: the even more scary FIVE. So stay tuned. I will also disclose the ultimate antidote to fear!

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