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Q: Kathryn, Why is it so easy for me in other areas but so hard in love? I have a great career that Im proud of. I have tons of friends, am close with my family and even head up a volunteer effort. But I cannot seem to find my guy, and love has always been hard for me.
Why is this and what can I do about it?
A: There are a couple of reasons this might be so.
1) Other areas like job are linear. Logical. An easy-to-see progression.
2) Secondary goals will have less resistance, but with a big goal, you will smack up into ALL of your resistance. The key is getting around it. But its valuable because you can really move if you face your blocks head-on. How?
• When I work with someone on an issue like this, well assess where the wall is
• It depends on the nature of your past relationships and even your childhood
• Once we pinpoint the blocks, we can put together a protocol to move forward. Some blocks might be sheer resistance. Others may come up as you interact with likely prospects
• It really helps that you have success templates in other areas. That can be put to good use
Heres an example of a woman that I helped.
During intake, "Sue" admitted she had never had a successful relationship.
The longest one shed had was 4 months, and it just fizzled after a while. He quit calling.
Sue was very head-centered, and like you, she had a very good career.
She tended to connect with men in work mode, not from her heart. And there was some past trauma thrown in there that added extra resistance.
We put in a protocol of:
- becoming more heart-centered when outside of work
- scheduled free, fun time
- worked on flirting and laughing and just enjoying herself
- Sue had to learn to create emotional bonding, too
But the upshot is the most lasting relationship of her life. She is engaged to a wonderfully charming man, and they are moving in together.
Yes, the things we want the most can seem elusive, but with some work at dissolving the resistance, they can still happen and happen quickly.
I bless you for finding your way through your own resistance.
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