Q: Kathryn, Ive been doing your "Date for Your Soulmate" Course and its working! Im starting to connect with more hot men, but Ive hit a snag.
Part of the course talks about flirting, and I just cannot do it. I was raised to believe that women who flirt are sluts, and it just feels wrong. Ill feel like a bad person, a hussy, and I cant do it. Even if I try as little as a wink, I freeze up.
A proper woman doesnt act that way, and I need to ask you if I really have to flirt to find love. I dont want to impede my progress. But this is beyond what I can deal with.
A: Wow, thats a lot, and Im so very glad that you wrote about this flirting block, because we need to address it. Here are a few points to help you out:
1. I adore the term slut-shaming because it negates the notion that women are either madonnas or whores. There is nothing wrong with having a sexual side and using it when youre connecting. We all have many complicated sides, and its okay to be sexual. To judge women (and not men -- such a double standard!) for being too flirty is just wrong and can inhibit a womans ability to be who she is.
2. The definition of flirting is a mild sexual energy in communicating. Its a terrific aid to turning a persons head who you are interested in.
3. Flirting ensures you wont be friend-zoned. It also opens up your 2nd chakra. If youve had a long, dry spell, you may in danger of shutting down, and this can prevent love from coming along.
4. Even if you dont want to flirt with anyone else, you definitely want to be flirting with your soulmate.
5. It helps to practice flirting to be in practice when a hot person (most likely to be your soulmate) comes along.
6. Everyone -- even the shyest amongst us -- has a flirting style. It varies wildly, as you are seeing in the course where I talk about all the styles and how to find yours.
I hope this explanation can help flirting seem less scary or prohibitive for you.
The course youre doing has helped so many people open to love! If youre going to do it, dont skip parts of it. The process cant work as well.
I bless you for getting over this hump. It will open a whole new world to you.
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