Why You Must Control Your Jealousy if You Want to Get Your Ex Back

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Jealousy can be a huge problems for relationships. The green-eyed monster is especially problematic when we live in a world that includes Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, text messaging, instant messaging, email and so many other ways for people to communicate with each other - including members of the opposite sex.

More and more jobs expect professional employees to have ready access to information at all hours of the day and night and many people must go back into the office after hours on occasion, or never seem to leave the office on other occasions. It leaves the doors wide open for jealous spouses and lovers to leap to the wrong conclusions quite often.

Some Jealousy Can be Good for the Relationship

While your significant other is probably glad to know you care enough for the green-eyed monster to rear its ugly head on occasion, its important to avoid making scenes, jumping to conclusions, and levy accusations and allegations without proof. The key is to find balance. You want your partner to know you care, but avoid going overboard with displays of jealousy lest they alarm your partner and cause doubts about the relationship. Trust, after all, is also important. When jealousy is too "over the top" it leaves your partner feeling as though you lack trust.

Reigning in the Green-Eyed Monster

The key is to reign in your jealousy before it becomes problematic. Consider these actions to get your jealousy under control.

* Breathe deeply. Whenever your jealous thoughts are about to spiral out of control, take a moment to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Focus all your attention on breathing for the next several breaths. This not only helps you calm your raging thoughts but also provides important seconds for clearer thinking to kick in.

* Speak calmly. This is not the time to incite violence or make threatening statements. Let your partner know youre uncomfortable and explain why in a reasonable tone. Most partners will show respect for your feelings, even if your partner believes they are unfounded, and attempt to get out of the situation if its possible.

* Be proactive. When you feel the ugly head of jealousy making an appearance, start looking for thoughts and feelings that will cancel it out. The more active role you take in eliminating jealousy from becoming a problem for your relationship, the less likely it is to become one.


If jealousy has already caused big problems in your relationship, you can still get your ex back once you get your jealousy under control. Then you just need to follow these simple instructions to have your ex back in your arms in no time.

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4 Reasons You Should Not Rush in to Get Your Ex Back

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Elvis Presley, you know, the KING of Rock-n-Roll, said it best. "Fools rush in." You love your ex. Theres no doubt about that. You cant just turn it off because shes decided its over. But if you go all gung ho and rush right in demanding a second chance, you might just end up pushing her into taking out a restraining order to keep you at arms length. Thats the last thing you want to happen if youre serious about getting her back. But, did you know there are other reasons to wait a little while before trying to win her heart all over again? Here are a few of my personal favorites.

1) Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. She needs a little bit of absence from you in order to appreciate how much you did bring to the relationship -- and to her on a personal level. She needs the chance to get over the hurt and anger and start remember the fun, funny, and slightly quirky things you did that brought a smile to her face and made her feel loved by you.

2) You get a little distance from the pain. In the moments when your heart is truly breaking, all you can focus on is the pain. You want the pain to end. Since the breakup was what has caused the pain, getting her back should make it go away. Right? Not necessarily. It may provide a temporary balm, but its better to get a little distance so you can be certain you really want her back or if moving on might be the better path for you.

3) Allows you time to consider your options. You dont have to get her back. Even if you do, you may decide that changes need to be made on your end of the relationship. How much, after all, have you really been getting from the relationship? Are you getting as much from it as you put into it? If not, what kinds of changes do you plan to make?

4) Provides you with the perfect opportunity to devise an effective strategy. You may not be up-to-date on the latest strategy to get your ex back, but that doesnt mean you shouldnt take a little time to brush up on your technique. You may even be surprised to learn that having a strategy for getting back together with your ex greatly improves the odds of success.

Dont float around in a haze of pain begging her for a second chance at every turn. Its not good for your self-esteem or your image. More importantly, it wont melt her heart the way you hope. Instead, sit back, relax, get your bearings. Then let me help you come up with a killer strategy that will have her eating out of the palm of your hands before she knows whats hit her.

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