For instants, when the break up first occurs the one that didnt want the break up to happen will constantly call their ex trying to talk to them to see if things can be worked out. This is the first mistake 99% many who suffer a break up do and what they dont realize is that does nothing more than push their ex further away.
What you really should do is give your ex what they want, they did not break up with you because they wanted to be around you, they broke up with you to get away from you. So, give them what they want at least for a little while, leave them alone, dont try to contact them except to apologize for whatever it was you did wrong, then start working on yourself to try and correct some of the bad habits you have that may have helped the break up along.
By fixing those bad habits you will be showing your ex that you are trying to better yourself and, when your ex sees the improvements that you are making in yourself it will make them start to think that may have been a bit hasty in ending the relationship. When this happens, your chance of getting back together will begin to improve.
How long the period of no contact with your ex lasts will depend entirely on your ex. Your ex needs time to get over the anger as well as time to reflect on things that may have been affecting them and bothering them while in the relationship. Once they cool down and start thinking about the things that were good in the relationship they will begin to miss you.
When they get to this point they will most likely try to contact you when they do, let it happen but whatever you do, do not get defensive. What will probably happen, is your ex will begin to vent on you and perhaps even start slamming you for whatever it was that caused the break up. If this happens you will have to bite your tongue and try to stay as calm as possible, be agreeable instead of defensive, be apologetic and sincere.
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Try to keep the conversation on the short side, remember you will not be able to fix the relationship with just one conversation if you do it will only fall apart again in a short while, it will take many, if you want the relationship to last.
As you begin to have more conversations with your ex, you can slowly make them last longer each time. During these conversations try not to seem overly eager to get back together, rather make it appear as if you have come to terms with the break up and are OK with it.
When your ex sees that you have come to terms with the break up it will pique their curiosity, they will be dying to find out how this can be possible, as this is not the way people normally act after suffering a breakup. (Human tells us to fight hard to get back what we lost) What we are doing, is using human nature to help us to get our ex back, human nature makes our curiosity peak when we see things that are not normal such as the abnormal way you react when the break up occurred, for example, not fighting the break but accepting it instead.
Human nature and psychology are your best allies when trying to get back together with your ex, when used the right way, and in conjunction with a well-thought out step by step plan, I think you will find it is not all that difficult to get your ex back.
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