And if you take a second to think about it, the reaction is logical: one day shes here, shes yours… the next shes gone. Its a major loss that leaves you with a void that only she can fill.
But why do we go as far as calling it "surviving a breakup"? Has anyone ever died from it? Probably not… but theres still a good reason for bringing such a dramatic word into the equation. Because while its not an issue of survival in a literal sense and youre not fighting for you life… what you are fighting for is your sanity.
Why?
Because losing a girlfriend to a breakup is similar to losing a family member to death as far as feelings are concerned. But heres one important difference between the two: in the latter situation your family member doesnt choose to leave you – it just happens. But in the former, your loss is directly attributable to choice – hers.
And thats why your sanity is put to the test. Because its the ultimate form of rejection. And whenever someone gets rejected they want that somebody that much more and will drive themselves crazy while entertaining the possibility of getting them back. Its like a junkie looking for their late night fix and going out of their minds because they cant find it.
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So how do you deal with this? How do you go about getting over a breakup while saving your sanity? Its actually not as difficult as youd imagine.
And while theres a lot of advice floating around as to how one should proceed in this case, theres only one correct approach as far as Im concerned: to keep a realistic viewpoint on the situation.
What does this mean?
Simple… You take the relationship for what it truly is (or was for that matter) and you think about it along those lines. Heres an exercise Ive used in the past to help me through this and Im inviting you to follow along right now:
1. Take out a blank sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle
2. Write down the words "Positives" and "Negatives" at the top of each column
3. Now list as many positives and negatives about your relationship with this girl
Just remember to be honest with yourself here. Take the time to reflect on every aspect of your relationship. Remember that nobodys perfect: Im not, youre not, and neither is she. Thats why its impossible to have had a perfect relationship and theres certain to be plenty of negatives to go with the positives in your list.
But why is this simple exercise so important?
Because what youre ultimately trying to accomplish here is balance the positives with the negatives and bring them to the forefront of your thoughts. It is only when all the facts are staring you in the face that youll be able to look at your situation from a logical point of view rather than one of desperation.
And the next time the thought crosses your mind (and it will) that this is the only girl for you and theres no other in this world that can match her perfection… refer back to that list you just wrote.
Because whatever your agenda may be (to get over her, to get her back, etc.) this is the first step to achieving your goal, as simple as it may seem. This will force you to think logically and accordingly and that will take you a long way towards surviving a breakup and figuring out your next move.
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