Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a break up. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With break ups no matter how many youve had to go through in the past, they certainly dont become easier to go through.After a break up, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldnt try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.
Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.
There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldnt be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely
Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, its over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.
1. Say sorry
Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesnt get your ex back, its usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize dont let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say youre sorry, and your ex brings something else up, dont get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2. Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you dont beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they dont want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, youre going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isnt the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, youll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.
3. Give some space
This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesnt mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If youre in touch with them all the time, they wont be able to miss you.
4. Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, youre not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.
Its best if youre not there when your ex calls. Then theyll be wondering what youre doing. If youre out and your cell rings and its your ex, dont answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didnt have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.
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