Get It Over With Tear Off the Bandaid!

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Q: Kathryn, I have been in love with a man for several years. We work together in my office. We flirt, but nothing more has come of it, and I am too shy to say anything. I just found out he got engaged, and I am devastated.

 No matter how hard I try to release, my love for him continues. I feel like he will realize he loves me and break off the engagement. And even if he gets married, I think I may always love him. But I am miserable. What can I do? Thanks for any advice.

A: If ever there was a wake-up call to let go, this is it! What I have to say may surprise you. I find that those who get hung up on someone unavailable are actually unavailable themselves. In some way, your feelings for this man keep you “safe” – out of reach for real love.

Perhaps something in your past has made you equate love with hurt so it’s easier to have a fantasy love rather than the real deal.

But the real deal is SO much more fulfilling, and you will have none of the pain you are feeling.

What I suggest you do is to Clear Your Field. This is a radical move, but it has worked super well for people who pined away for someone for up to a decade. Here’s how to Clear Your Field.

1. Find out the truth – if this person is interested, even if you feel you are sticking your foot in your mouth.  It is better to KNOW than be in some fantasy land. It is better to get beyond it, bring it to earth and move on. So, ask about it, bring up the subject. I know this can be humiliating and risky, but your future in love is at stake. This is serious!!! 

2. If the answer is NO, or if this person tries to lead you on   

(often those we get attached to have a vested interest in having someone on the side to feed their ego), then you need to get real here. This step can help you to realize it will never work out and that it is beneath you to continue these feelings.

3. Sit down and assess what you’ve learned. Ask yourself if you are willing to put your precious life on hold for someone who is just not returning the feelings. I’ve had great success with folks who can finally see the truth and get over it. It’s like ripping a bandaid off. Getting it over with shakes you out of the attachment that has held you hostage. You will be amazed at how quickly this reality check sets you free, and it is worth saying something just to get beyond it.

4. Do a release and then turn your attention to the love that awaits you beyond this. A real love that loves you back!

Here’s the Truth: If they were your One, it would be working out. And, they may be an eel. The reality with your One will be SO much better!

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I Attract Creeps!

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Q: Dear Kathryn, I keep attracting scary guys – ones who make my skin crawl. And when I try to make contact with attractive guys, they ignore me. I am so tired of having to suck up my feelings and have a stuff upper lip like a marine. Even some of my male friends call me GI Jane and say I am one of the strongest women they know emotionally. What advice would you give for people who have reached the end of their rope like me?  Thanks.

A: I’m sorry you’re having this experience. The fact that you feel like a soldier at war is not good. It means you’re approaching life as though it were a battle zone, which I know if feels like for you right now.

The truth is that life can be very easy – like an endless vacation. But we need to change some things.

What you’re drawing into your experience indicates that your point of attraction is off. It can be for a number of reasons, but central to it seems to be a lack of healthy self-image.

Being approached with unwanted attention usually means you lack proper boundaries.

And when those you want to connect with are ignoring you, it often shows that you are carrying a “script” that says “I’m not worth noticing.”

These can be altered. We need to lay in some better boundaries for you. Then the “creeps” will steer clear of you. And as you change your script to one that says: “I’m worthy and a catch, hotties will line up to pay you some attention.”

I bless you for stepping into the different life you SO deserve!

Love & support, Kathryn

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Love Life HIJACKED !

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Q: Kathryn, my mom is getting dementia, and I’m faced with moving her into a facility – which is going to be a process. I’ve also got a gigantic project at work that is stressing me out. I fear that my love life is being hijacked. I was just feeling ready for love, and now all of this! Should I just give up for now, or is there still hope for me and love?

 A: In my books, I recount stories of people who have found love at the most unlikely times.
 

• A woman bald as a cueball undergoing chemotherapy for cancer who fell in love with one of the clinic workers.
• A man whose mother had died who met his future wife at the funeral.
• A writer on book deadline – completely stressed – who met her fiancé in a café she hung out in to get some chapters done.

Your future is SO bright you need shades! That has not changed. This blip on the radar is NOTHING in comparison to how good it will get for you. If you don’t have your soulmate, then the best is yet to come.If you can maintain a hopeful attitude, even as you tend to what’s in front of you to deal with, then love can still come at any time.

 Love is so magical that it is always limitless in when and how it shows up.

 Remember that, and I bless you for getting your mom settled well, your project successfully completed & still finding many moments of job . . . and yes, even love . . . along the way.

Im sending you love & support for hanging in there until love shows up.

Love & support, Kathryn

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