Most guys think the perfect answer, after a breakup, is to apologize to the girl who got away. Some of them have a hard time understanding why this doesnt work - or in some cases makes her even angrier than she was initially. Apologizing is almost always the wrong answer. Here are just a few of the reasons why.
Apologizing is a Sign of Weakness
Fans of the hit television show on CBS have heard this a time or two throughout its many seasons on the air. Its one of Gibbs favorite sayings. But, it is a sign of being on the weak end of the argument. You never want to broach an argument from a weaker position.
Apologies Come Across as Insincere
Chances are good that youve apologized in the past. Perhaps, youve even apologized for the very things she says are the problems in your relationship. Apologies, without action, do not bring about a sufficient result to make her happy. While you dont have to change everything about who you are, sometimes, youre going to have to make some adjustments to your nature in order to keep her happy and make her FEEL loved by you.
Apologies arent Specific Enough
Apologizing for "whatever you did to make her leave" isnt going to cut it. She needs to hear the specific reason why youre apologizing. She wants you to acknowledge that youve hurt, neglected, ignored, cheated, or whatever it is that youve done. She wants to know that you understand its wrong. Problem is, she doesnt always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason its a bad idea to apologize when your girlfriend leaves.
Its Too Easy to Apologize for the Wrong Thing
The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire by apologizing for something you think she found out about, while failing to apologize to the thing thats really set her off. Talk about digging in deeper!
The bottom line, when it comes to apologies, is that there are many more ways to get it wrong than there are to get it right. If you feel you must apologize, its best to do it in writing and follow these simple rules.
1) Be specific.
2) Make your apology brief.
3) Keep it simple.
Putting it in writing prevents a fight, gives her time to think it over, and provides a neutral setting where she can process the apology and what it may mean for your collective futures.
Apologies, for the most part, have a negative impact on the future of the relationship. Instead of a apologizing, look for positive aspects of the relationship and attempt to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes that were made along the way.
Apologizing is a Sign of Weakness
Fans of the hit television show on CBS have heard this a time or two throughout its many seasons on the air. Its one of Gibbs favorite sayings. But, it is a sign of being on the weak end of the argument. You never want to broach an argument from a weaker position.
Apologies Come Across as Insincere
Chances are good that youve apologized in the past. Perhaps, youve even apologized for the very things she says are the problems in your relationship. Apologies, without action, do not bring about a sufficient result to make her happy. While you dont have to change everything about who you are, sometimes, youre going to have to make some adjustments to your nature in order to keep her happy and make her FEEL loved by you.
Apologies arent Specific Enough
Apologizing for "whatever you did to make her leave" isnt going to cut it. She needs to hear the specific reason why youre apologizing. She wants you to acknowledge that youve hurt, neglected, ignored, cheated, or whatever it is that youve done. She wants to know that you understand its wrong. Problem is, she doesnt always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason its a bad idea to apologize when your girlfriend leaves.
Its Too Easy to Apologize for the Wrong Thing
The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire by apologizing for something you think she found out about, while failing to apologize to the thing thats really set her off. Talk about digging in deeper!
The bottom line, when it comes to apologies, is that there are many more ways to get it wrong than there are to get it right. If you feel you must apologize, its best to do it in writing and follow these simple rules.
1) Be specific.
2) Make your apology brief.
3) Keep it simple.
Putting it in writing prevents a fight, gives her time to think it over, and provides a neutral setting where she can process the apology and what it may mean for your collective futures.
Apologies, for the most part, have a negative impact on the future of the relationship. Instead of a apologizing, look for positive aspects of the relationship and attempt to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes that were made along the way.
